It is hard to imagine turning a bad on-line dating experience around into a positive one, but looking at anything in a negative perspective can destroy your confidence in every part of your life and especially when you are looking for love! A positive outlook brings out the good in all of us by changing how we choose to think and look at any given situation.
Here is an example; If John did not call Mary when he said he would, Mary could choose to react negatively by making up excuses for him, that he was seeing someone else, he was married, blowing her off or just didn’t like her. One or all of these could be true, but it is Mary’s choice to decide whether or not she wants to suspect or believe that John is capable of this treachery. If Mary responded in a positive way, she might choose that his reasons were not nearly as inflammatory and that it had nothing to do with her at all. How many of us can say that we would respond in a positive way?
I think part of the problem is that we women do over think our conversations with men, whether we want to or not. Being considered the more sensitive gender has its draw backs in the dating world. So to overcome this we just need to change how we talk to ourselves and to others, so we don’t make up life stories for other people.
It is like dancing and reminds me of the scene in the movie ‘Dirty Dancing’ where Patrick Swayze is teaching Jennifer Grey to dance the Mambo. He tells her ‘You dance in your space and I’ll dance in mine’ and watch out for those ‘spaghetti arms’!